But Dan's and I's relationship is a lot like just being fuck buddy's. Which I like. I don't really like Dan that much.. And he won't stay my boyfriend for very long..
I'm back home and I also found out that I got A's in all of my classes, which keeps me to have a 4.0 in college.. Two weeks ago I texted Kevin.. And apologized for being such a bitch to him.. I've been an awful person lately.. And I don't know how I feel about Kevin, but all I know is that I missed him.. A lot.. And I don't know what to do.. I saw him today.. We actually hung out for a little while.. It was actually really nice... But I cried a lot.. In front of him too.. It was awful.. But once I stopped crying, it was really nice to see him... Before we left the restaurant he hugged me.. And I miss him so much.. But I don't understand why.. I tried re reading my blogs from the past and see why I wanted to break up with him.. And sometimes I look at it and think "oh right" but today when he talked about video games it didn't piss me off... It made me so happy... I was so happy to hear him talk about it, because I realized it was one of the things I loved about him.. But I don't know any more.. All last week I thought about Kevin and how if he said he wanted me back what I would do.. But I don't know if I want him back.. I do but I feel like I'm not going to be happy again.. And I've changed so much since then.. I would completely have to change my friends if that happens.. I couldn't smoke any more and I just got two new pieces to smoke out of! I don't know what to do anymore.. And most of all break up with Dan.. Which really wouldn't be awful because that will happen eventually.. Hopefully soon.. But what I think about is if Kevin kisses me.. I want to kiss him so much.. I miss kissing him.. So much... Honestly Dan can't kiss worth crap.. And that maybe a reason why I miss him.. I feel like I threw away such a great relationship.. But I don't know what to do!
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