Alone

I feel alone...
I shouldn't, but last year at this time, I was graduating high school, and Kevin was back from college...
Now I have no one.
I am not sure if I ever mentioned Rory on this blog or not, but Rory is a (white) Jamaican Junior, now Senior, from my university. I had a class with him my first semester, and the biggest crush on him. Of course that was virgin Josee, so I wasn't that sure how to 'make a move', or even feel like I would be comfortable trying to have sex with him as a virgin, and I really didn't think he would want a virgin, but things got out of control, I lost my chance with him, and started dating Dan.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I saw Rory in the Cafe, and thank god I looked amazing that day, but I did, and I mean I smiled at him, but didn't like talk to him or anything, because he was with people, and I am kind of shy. About two or three days later, I found him on Tinder, and we got matched! I was just so excited, but he didn't message me... I deleted tinder, because I think it's the creepiest app in the world, but about a week ago I re-downloaded it, and saw that I had a message from Rory! Which was sent two days before I downloaded the app again. I was so excited, and messaged him back, because all he said was "Josee I found you on Tinder!!" And it was cute, so I messaged him back, and two days later he messaged me back, and we started talking like yesterday, and today he asked me what my plans were for the summer. And long story short, we have plans to meet up tomorrow... However, he was like "Tomorrow is so far away..." and then he asked for a "preview", which I really don't feel comfortable with doing, so of course, we dragged it out to a point where I finally told him no, and he hasn't texted me back, which is fine. It's whatever. I still bet that we hang out tomorrow.
But Danny posted these things on snap... And one was like with two girls in bikinis and having a pillow fight with them, and of course I'm jealous! But at the same time, I need to just stay calm. Because I mean, I am about ot go hang out with Rory tomorrow, so I shouldn't expect him to not do anything with girls, but at the same time, I don't think that I will be spending all that much time with guys this summer, I honestly won't have time. And Rory leaves Tuesday. :/ I'm actually kind of proud of myself for going to actually meet with him and not finding excuses not to go.
And I want to just snap Mark and say "Hey!" but I did just talk to him yesterday... Maybe I'll snap him tomorrow right before work with a neutral "First day back at work!!" And I'm going to be looking very cute tomorrow, well at least my face will be, because there is no way of making my work uniform cute.
I am just scared that I am going to go crazy this summer... I just want to cry right now, and I don't know why. I can't say it's because of my period, because that's not for another two weeks. I'm just freaking out for no reason.
But I do feel a tiny bit better after typing this all out... I honestly don't know if anyone could even remotely try to understand what I'm going through, because I just feel like this isn't a normal thing.
I'm not sure, but I guess we will see how this summer takes me.