Changes

This is my last few days in this college freshman year...
I have been thinking way too much about everything that passes through my life. And have been thinking about it way too much. What I just started to think about today is how much I have changed in this past year. College has changed me so much. And it's a good thing. Last year, I barely wore any make up anymore, because I didn't give a shit what I looked like, because I was with Kevin. And honestly, I think that I lost myself when I was Kevin, or didn't even know who I was yet. This first year let me explore so much that I have probably have been too scared to do. Now I wear make-up and so my hair everyday, and that might be because there are no days that I in my room all day long, even if I have nothing to do, I still have to leave the room to go and eat, and will see people who I want to look attractive for.
I now wear clothes that I thought I could never wear, because of this awesome no dress code thing. I am a lot tanner than I used to be. And honestly, I have more confidence than I ever thought I could hold. And maybe loosing my virginity did that for me, this college year took all my virginity that I have only ever held: my innocence. My innocence is now gone, and that old Josee is too. I like this new person that I have became.
I can't wait to start summer and my job again, but I can't wait for next semester even more than anything else. Being able to do everything and re-experience everything. And also I think with this experience under my belt, this summer will be a lot better than any other summer I have ever done. I will be home, yes, but I will go out so much more this summer than I have ever before coming to college I will be asking people to go places, not just hiding in the corner, scared about getting up in the morning; or whatever that is on my mind. I won't have Kevin holding me back, and I will be able to do anything that I want.
And I can't wait.