Damn...

So, I might be a slut... I don't think I am... But I might be. But Saturday night, I had Mark over, because I kind of like Mark... And he just got back from his Spring Break in Myrtle Beach, and we kind of started to talk about having a sleepover... And so, we did. And it was actually really fun.. At first a little awkward, because Callie walked in right after Mark walked in. But she didn't walk in on us while we were doing anything, I mean he just got in the room, and we were just talking at that point. And it was fine, but Callie stayed in there for sooo long... Maybe like over an hour. And it was fine, wasn't that big of a deal, I did steal one kiss while she was there towards the end before she left. And of course after she left, we started to make out... And maybe this is because we had more time to actually fool around this time... But he didn't just automatically take off his clothes, like he practically did the last time I hung out with him... And the thing is, and I hope he didn't mind this, we were talking throughout it... He barely makes any eye contact.. So, at one point in time, I was like "Mark, look at me." and he did, and he was like "What am I looking for?" And awkwardly,  I was just like "Nothing... Just eye contact is more attractive." and then he was like "Oh, I keep forgetting.. I need to work on that." And so it wasn't even me like picking on him, but I do like it when he looks at me, because he's so adorable, and I feel so impersonal when he doesn't look at me. But when he does... I don't know... Makes it more personal... Makes it more real... And the thing is I like Mark... I'm not head over heals. or anything, but I do like him... And it's funny. I know for a fact that he thinks that I am just going to try to push him to have sex... And he think that once he says no so many times, he thinks that I will just stop talking to him, or how Mark and I are saying is "Be done with each other." I don't know... I don't think I will get tired of him, unless Mark starts just being weird... But that won't be because he won't have sex! I am okay with not having sex with him! The funny thing though, is that I think we are both trying to please each other. Because (warning inappropriate about to be said, and may be brought up again throughout this post) he ate me out, which was nice... I don't really get the point of being eaten out quite yet... But the two guys who ate me out, just didn't do much about it, or during it? I don't know. At least Mark stayed down there for a while, and I actually just decided to stop him. and start making out, because I was thinking that it could be his turn, and especially that it didn't do much for me, and the longer he would be down there would be the same time that I should be down there for him. So, I kind of switch are position, so I could make out on top of him, and then make my way down, just as he did. And I got completely on top, and asked him to get in the middle, because I would have fallen if we stay in this position. So, he doesn't move over and like leads me down and was like "Josee, noo..."  and I was just like thinking "What the fuck? Who is this kid? What guy turns down a blow job?? Is he really this much of a virgin??" But I was actually like "But you just..?" and He was like "Hm? What?" and I didn't say anything at first, and then I was just like "Well, normally, if you do that for me... Normally, the favor gets returned..." and he's like "You're not talking about sex..?" and I just started laughing, and I was like "No, I would ask you before I would try to do that!"
And he stopped being so tense, and was like ok, go head, so, when I was positioning myself back on top of him, I was like "I promise, I won't rape you." and he laughed and was like "Don't rape me, Josee!"
So, then I gave him a long blow job, long for me doing it anyways, and then I stopped and we started making out and I resorted to just a hand job. And while making out we were talking, and he was like "You don't want me to come into your mouth, right?" and I said yes, because that shit is gross. And honestly, I kind of thought he wasn't like this... He was a man-whore when he was in middle and high-school. Which I wouldn't really expect from him. But I guess it's true, and he said that he got his first blowjob was from a junior in high-school, while he was in 8th grade! Like holey fuck! I don't know... After he did came, then I got tissues, and we cleaned ourselves up. And started to talk... And the Television was on during the whole time, so we just kind of laid there and cuddled and watched TV, and then talked for a bit.. I mean, we talked a lot.. And kissed in between... And during it he casually brought up if I had ever kissed a girl before, and I have, so I said yes. And I don't care if people know that. My first kiss was with a girl. I don't care, as long as you don't start accusing me of being gay, I could really give two shits about what you think. And I asked him, why he thought to ask that, and he said he likes to see the reaction, and some girls are like "Never!" or other are chill and is like "yeah", like me.
We went to sleep, and we were all cuddly together when we went to sleep... That's honestly the only thing I feel like I miss in a relationship... Is just the cuddling... I miss having someones hand to hold.. And at some point I didn't know if it would be okay if I held his hand... If that was too "serious getting" or whatever. But we did start holding hands... And the thing is, I had a really nice time that night. I honestly don't think "Damn it! Why didn't we fuck??" I honestly didn't...
He calls me "Joseebell" sometimes, because of my username of like everything that I own, like Twitter, Instagram, ect. So, he called me a few time Joseebell, and then he asked me if it was okay, and I actually kind of liked it... And I told him that.. But Joseebell is something my mom calls me... And I don't know... It's comforting if he calls me that... So, at like 3 we woke up and twisted and turned and he was like "Can I use your bathroom?" and I just laughed and said yes, the door was locked, so I helped him unlock it.
The cute thing of this was after he came and we kind of chilled for a bit, he put on his pants, so I asked if I could put on clothes. And of course he said yes. So, I wore a big t-shirt, nothing too special, not a cute shirt, but only covers my ass a little. And then of course I had a thong on while we were messing around so I put on regular panties on, and I luckily grabbed my cheetah print and they are adorable and make my ass spectacular looking. And thank the lord Mark is a guy who likes butts, because that's what I have. My boobs are a nice size and everything, but they are far from big. And he commented multiple times on it and was just like "That ass!" and honestly, of course, I love when he does that.
And Sunday I had to pick up my roommate from the airport, but I don't have a car, so my mom came to pick me up and then head over there. So, Mark knew this, and at like 11:20 he was saying that he should go, and of course I was like "Noo.." But he was saying this for 20 minutes now. And my mom had texted me saying she was on her way... And between my noo's, I was also saying I needed to get ready... And we finally got out of bed and I looked in the mirror and I looked pretty awful. So, I started telling myself, "God, I need to comb my hair, egh do my makeup..." And Mark is like "You don't even need makeup." And he leaves a little later and I get ready really quick, and my mom texted that she was there.. And I ran downstairs, and shes like "So, did you go out last night?" and I told her the truth, No. and she was like "You look... Rough." So, I texted Mark and I sent him the message: "My mom said I looked 'rough', Thank you, Mark."
And something we also talked about was that I didn't think he would be like he was. He though when he saw me that I was this quiet girl, who really didn't go out at all and this was my first time drinking and everything. He thought wrong. And I thought wrong about him. But he gave me reasons to think wrong. I mean after our first night together he was texting me and he said "You're so much fun!" "I'm so glad I met you!" "So, any regrets, or no?" Especially that last one, but I was freaked out and thought that he was going to become clingy and want to be bf/gf. which wasn't the case... Plus he is a virgin, so I really didn't think that he would eat me out, like ever.. But I don't know why... But I just get a good feeling from him.
And I told him this, and kind of made fun of him and was like "Who asks any regrets??" and he was like "Yeah, I guess in our situation it was a bit weird... and worrisome." So, I think our inside joke now is going to be "Any regrets?" which I think is cute.
Saturday night he was also texting this girl, Sarah, and he would never get with her, and I honestly not worried about her and him, because they are friends, and she was in her room, and saying that he should come back, and I was telling him no, and that he wasn't allowed to just leave, and he was saying that he wouldn't, and she'll be fine... And then in the morning, he saw his text messages, at 3 am she texted him saying "Can't wait for your walk of shame!" and he texted back in the morning saying "lol" and she responded "K" and he was like : "she pissed..." and the last time Mark and I hung out she asked him if he would want to get lunch, and he said, no hanging out with Josee... So, yeah... Sarah and I are friends though! We are, she likes me as a person, I like her as a person.
So, last night Lindsay texted me asking if I wanted to come and drink at the guys house that we have been to twice now. (well three times now) and I said sure, if Ashli can go, and she said of course to Ashli coming. So, I went to her room and then we went back to mine, because I was helping her apply to HOST. And then we were waiting for Sarah to come back with Lindsay's car. And we waited for a while then we finally go down to meet Sarah and when she pulled up, she was happy to see me, then pissed. And she started yelling, jokingly of course, but yelling at me saying how she was in Marks room alone watching TV all night, waiting for him to come back. And I told her that we had those plans for a couple days... And then when she realized that we are going over to Josh's and Erik's apartment, she was like: HER EXACT WORDS: "No one go for Erik! He's mine! Well, you can go for him, I'll just have him next."
Yeah... So we get to their apartment and start drinking immediately. and then we played Kings. It was a lot of fun. And then I wanted to sit on the couch when we were done playing so I asked Erik if I could sit next to him. And I'm not sure if I said this in a later post, about how Erik was saying that I was adorable and so polite when I talk. And I did ask him in this way: "May I sit here?" and He was like "Yes, that's so cute, may I? Aww.." Or whatever it was he said was along those lines. That was me making my effort of getting with him. Sitting next to him, he should be able to figure out the rest, right? No it took him about all night... But we switched places on the couch, and I ended up on the other end and Ashli at one point was siting next to me, then there was a spot empty next to me, so Erik came and sat next to me, and we started talking, I'm not sure about all the details, because I was a little tipsy, but he asked for my phone to put on a song on youtube, then asked if I knew this one guy, who he brought up on youtube as well, and he pulled it up, and this guy comes up to girls and says: "Can I ask you three questions? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you find me attractive? What would be your excuse right now not to kiss me?" and he was getting somewhere with it. And the video was still going and he stopped talking about it... He was starting to let it go, so I brought it up again, and was like "haha so are you like him?" and he just repeats what the guys lines are and he said "So, what would your excuse be, for not kissing me?" and I said there would be one, and he was like "No?" and kissed me, and we sat there and made out for maybe 5 minutes, and I heard Lindsay taking pictures, and Just how everyone was like "Oooh..." And then we stopped kissing, and Lindsay of course was in his room. And he was like "Should we get them out of my room?" and he went got her out and actually pretty smoothly got me to stand up and go into his room, and l at the door, and then he got her out and locked the door... And... Yeah... He said I was a good kisser, and that I felt good... So... That's practically all I really need to say... I think that was the first time that I didn't just like give up during it and say that I was tired. Although I really didn't get tired out... After we were done we laid there for a good two minutes with Lindsay pounding on the door for something. And then we finally got dressed and walked out. And the funniest thing about it was when they both, like Ashli and Lindsay, were just like "What did you do??" But I don't think I answered them really... Then Lindsay was getting out of hand and I was practically sobered up. And Erik said if we ended up staying that we could do round two, but I said we were probably going to go home. He patted my head and went to his room. I asked Lindsay if she was ready, and then he headed out... We got in the car and drove home, Lindsay texted me after we got in our rooms and said she saw Sarah and was asking questions, and I found out today that Lindsay is a bad liar so she told Sarah. Which is whatever... As long as Sarah doesn't kill me...
Erik texted me this morning saying that I looked upset about something last night before I left and was wondering if I was okay.. I wasn't upset last night to my knowledge. If I was, then it would be like at Lindsay. And I just texted him back: "Nothing is wrong?" And then he texted: "Oh, Dustin said you left upset about something. I was just checking." I thought that was nice... I would think that girls, I can't say about guys, but girls, if they see that's there's something wrong, and they say something they just kind of panic more than anything else... So, I just replied to him and told him I was fine, but thanks for checking.

And tonight we are going to a club, 912, and Erik then asked me if I was going. And I told him we were planning on it. and asked if he was, and now they are saying that they might be, because of their group vote and I asked him what side he was on, and he said he didn't care and that he'd just rather stay home and get drunk, and that it is too expensive to go out.
Honestly, I rather them not go. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. I'm not sure...