GREAT. So, if I am correct, the last time I posted, I had the best sex of my life with John. Which is very true...
Well, John and I are only awkward to each other now... And so that fuck buddies in the gutter...
Kinda about to start another fuck buddy relationship... But this one probably won't run away, because he's not out of my league like John was... And that means that John is way too hot for a girl like me... So, I should just be happy I got with him the two times that I did... This other guy, Justin, he's questionable... I don't know. I smoked my first dab... and yea... then I had sex with him... and I honestly hated it... Hated having sex with him. But it was more of a comfort thing than anything else.
So, yeah...
Then, that same weekend John and I had hooked up, I hooked up with a guy named Mark. Now we didn't have sex or anything, Mark is actually a virgin. And at first I was a little worried about Mark getting too attached to me... But that's not the case... Actually my friend Lindsay have fucking dinner with him the other night and he said that he likes some other girl more than me... And it's because he hasn't gotten with her, so she the "hard to get girl" or whatever "the challenge"... So, I was actually just getting really fond of Mark...
I actually thought of a cute little thing for Friday night... Because one of my roommates she is going to Maine, well she left for Maine, today. And then my other roommate is normally not there for weekends. So, I thought I could invite Mark to stay for Friday night... And maybe we could go and smoke together and then come back, and I have coco puffs... and he likes coco puffs... so I thought we could munch on those while we cuddle... And I honestly don't even WANT to have sex with him...Not this soon, not really... I kind of like that we are not having sex... It's a nice change...
He told Lindsay that he thought that I am going to end up to keep asking him for sex, and then eventually give up and move on... But the thing is, Tuesday afternoon he invited me over to hang out when everyone was in class. And of course we were making out and stuff.. but he removed his own fucking clothes!!! I was completely dressed still when he only had on his boxers!!! The only thing that came off of me was my shirt, and he did that too!! I just don't understand... And then Monday he texted me saying that he wish I was in bed with him... I don't know... Guys say that girls are confusing. I beg to differ. I think guys are confusing!! He started to snapping me tonight... and he even started out with "Joseeeee" so it's not like he sent this snap to anyone else!!! Sure, he may have been snapping someone else... But still... I don't know... I told him to go to bed, and he said he wanted to talk to me... And I mean, he likes me... But he likes this other girl more... And I want to prove him wrong! I want him to fucking beg for sex and me still not have sex with him!
But I guess, in order to do that, I would have to keep on trying... And I have just been wondering if I should even try or not... And I am, I already know... But I was even starting to think tonight that I could do this of no Mark thing.. Then he snapped me -.- I don't even know why I like him!!! He's so weird!! But he's adorable... Adorably weird, maybe?? But I don't know... I just like something about him... Maybe I like him because he likes someone else. Who fucking knows. But I will not give up this fight... I am going back on campus Sunday... And maybe I'll see him. Maybe I'll see Justin. I don't know. But the reason that I want to go fuck Justin again, is because after John and I, I was over everyone I had ever liked. Not that I started to like John. Which is weird... But I just liked not liking anyone. Which lasted about a week and a half -.-
Oh well... Now to normal life. I am back home.... I have a new puppy! He's not as cute as my other dog... But he's growing on me... And he's sleeping right next to me, and it's pretty freaking adorable. And then I hear that my father not only wants a new puppy but a baby. He wants to adopt a baby boy. What the FUCK is he thinking?!?!?!? He didn't even raise Haley and I!! I don't think he could even raise a human being! But he always wanted a baby boy. I really hope that my mother doesn't give in to this crazy shit. These are his midlife crisis: Motorcycle, puppy, now a baby. 0.0 What would I do if they had a baby? Yeah... That poor baby will know nothing about me. Other than I left that house when he was 4 and never came back.
I don't know really what else to say... I mean I met a guy off a Tinder...and he was just super short... But I actually really liked this guy. But that's way too late... he is soooo much shorter than me. It sucks... Now I am texting Kevin, because Kevin had lunch with me Tuesday... And I think it was nice to see him... At least for the first part... I know Kevin still loves me... And maybe a part of me loves him still. But I don't feel it anymore...
I don't feel any different loosing my virginity. It wasn't that big of a deal... And maybe I just think too much into these things... But maybe I shouldn't see Mark this week... Maybe he will end up liking me more. Or end up liking me less. I don't know. But all I know is that I do want to end up winning. And not with a broken heart... Again. So, hopefully this will go well.
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